Generally, society works against us discovering and being ourselves. We are taught to be what society and our parents want us to be. There is little faith in the brilliance and miracle of who we are. Instead, there is typically a fear that we are not enough and we have to push to be the best we can be to get what we want. We have to make ourselves into what we are supposed to be, and that is (we are told) not an easy road. There is little belief that a child is sufficient and just needs to be nurtured; to trust who we are and let that shine (like feeding a beautiful flower) – that there is a
perfect being inside that we just need to discover, and when we do life can flow easily.
Of course there are exceptions, but generally, society teaches us the following negative values and beliefs that contribute to us not being ourselves.
- Wisdom is not within us–we need to learn what we need to know from the “experts.”
- Feelings are bad, undesirable, difficult. The intellect is valued but not emotions. Thinking is more important than feeling.
- We are essentially not good (we are born in original sin). We are inherently bad & need to control ourselves and others.
- We have to mold people as opposed to discovering who they are.
- Possessions, money, achievement makes us happy.
- We have to work 24/7 to get ahead; life is hard.
- There’s not enough to go around, so we have to compete to get ahead.
- We are smarter than the natural world. We have the answers and there is no intelligence in the world as it is. This results in a lack of respect for the earth and the wisdom inherent in the natural world. We think we should control the earth, which results in pollution, destruction and global warming. We don’t see the value in the natural world, so we are disconnected from nature, and therefore, a natural source of love.
- We have to earn love through our achievements. We have to become better to deserve love & attention. We are not enough; we have to do what others want us to do to be acceptable/to fit in. Love is conditional.
- We have to be better than others to succeed and to be admired.
- We are victims and we must fight those who suppress us (witness the victim/tyrant cycle exhibited by our history of war). Of course the natural us is often suppressed from the beginning, so many of us begin our lives fighting – it becomes the natural way of being.
- We have to make things happen as opposed to being in the flow (exemplified by how we push our children to succeed, (“Tiger Moms”) rather than trusting that children will be motivated to do what is necessary when they find their natural purpose.
- We have to punish versus asking what is the unmet need that causes the behavior?
- We should live in fear versus living in love (just watch the news).
- Man-made food is better than nature’s version.
Following are some positive steps we can take to begin to heal ourselves and the world.
Bring ourselves to the world. Nurture the child and person within us so we can find our talents and purpose; so we can fully be who we are. Believe and teach that who we are is enough. CLEAR any beliefs that you are not enough (see: What Is Clear).
The goal is to discover our potential. To do this we must have our emotions, because we don’t know what we are good at until we know how we feel when we are doing things. When we are energized, and “in the flow” we are on the right track. We need to feel our feelings so that we know what makes us happy and what makes us unhappy so we know what to move toward and what to avoid. Feeling our feelings doesn’t mean acting out on them (e.g., I feel angry, so I’ll yell at the kids). It means allowing the physical sensations in the body; noticing where the sensations are and just letting them be there until they dissipate, i.e., is there tension? Nausea? Pain? Where is it? How does it feel? Being in the body helps us to process in the limbic system (where issues are created, stored and processed). Thinking about it just gets us stuck in the neo-cortex and begins a cycle of thinking/processing that can’t solve the problem at the level it was created (which is the limbic system), thus creating more stress. Stop DOing as a way of resisting your feelings.
Listen to what is happening in your body. Read the article, “What do Kids Need”; read the books, Unconditional Bliss, by Raphael Cushnir, and The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker.
Be in the whole brain/body versus just the left-brain. Some call this intuition. I prefer “whole brain/body thinking,” which is less nebulous, more reachable. You get to whole brain thinking by doing the following:
1. Feel your feelings—they just need to be felt. To do this, we must respect emotions and learn to be in our bodies and not try to figure it out (with the left brain).
2. Once you allow your feelings, Then distinguish between what is a feeling triggered by an old experience and what is happening now. Clear what is resulting from an old experience.
3. Then practice sensing with all of your senses, first being aware of yourself and then of the things going on around you (do the exercise below*). This is being “aware.”
4. Exercise, sports, dance, singing, playing music and art help us be in our bodies and out of our left-brain. Find an activity that you can do and be “aware” while you are doing it. Being in the body and whole brain takes practice and dedication. Do something every day at least a couple times a day…for the rest of your life. It will get easier and easier the more you do it. Eventually being in your whole brain will become your natural way of being and ideally, you’ll do everything in this state. Read the book, Finding your Way in a Wild New World, by Martha Beck.
Our bodies are our resonating tool. When a tuning fork vibrates, it sets up a vibration in surrounding matter. This is resonance. When you resonate with a task, plan or vision, you have the same frequency and are thus in alignment with it. Assessing if there is resonance in any activity requires getting out of the head (thinking) and into the body—being in the moment—being open and in the flow. When you don’t resonate with something and still take action, you are forcing or willing action, which is in opposition to flow. When you force action, you may cause suffering for yourself and others; you are not at peace. Actions are not in alignment, so the outcome is not as productive. When you resonate with what you do, a sense of peace & flow pervades the work. Synchronicity, coincidence and positive outcomes are more likely
in this state. When we resonate we cooperate with the world. This takes practice. Once you have practiced feeling your feelings and listening with your whole brain/body, practice resonance. Look at your list of things to do; get into your body and feel which one you want to do now. Do that. Life is easy when we are in the flow with ourselves and the world. Note: you cannot resonate without your feelings. You may have to move through some emotions that don’t feel so good before you can resonate. The more you CLEAR the more you will be able to resonate.
CLEAR your triggers: heal trauma and process the past so that it doesn’t negatively impact you. When we feel strong negative emotions something is unresolved in us that needs to be cleared. Anything that blocks you from your potential needs to be cleared—beliefs that you are not good/smart/creative enough; procrastination; negative self-talk; assumptions that you have to be better than others, that you have to measure yourself against the achievements of others. The more you clear the freer you’ll be of the chatter in your brain, the more you will have access to your whole
brain, flow and resonance.
Practice being in the “healed version.” This helps create a new positive neural pathway in your brain. The healed version is what you look like, feel like and act like without the negative issue in your life. Allow your body to fill up with the feeling—it could be peace, love, spirit, calmness or the opposite of the issue you are clearing. For example, if you are clearing “life is hard” you may find the healed version is “life is easy and I flow with what happens.” If there are blocks to filling up with the healed version, clear them. Do the “Freezeframe” exercise in The Hearthmath Solution by Doc Childre & Howard Martin.
Spend time in the natural world. There is a wisdom in the natural world and if we learn to accept what is & co-operate, working with the universe instead of fighting and controlling, we will experience a peace and ease unknowable when we control and fight what is. Get out into the natural world. It is much easier to feel, be yourself and be in the whole brain when you are in nature.
Take responsibility for yourself. Be a co-creator, not a victim/tyrant. What we feel is our responsibility to deal with. Everything that happens has a lesson. Whatever vibration is in us will dictate what happens around and “to” us. This is a major reason why we need to CLEAR negative thoughts, behaviors, patterns, and any thing we resist, and practice being with our feelings, which is accepting what is. When we accept what is, we begin to heal it, which is taking responsibility for the self. When we accept what is, there is no resistance and we can be at peace.
Practice Love versus Fear. When you find yourself acting from fear, stop, feel the sensations in your body. Let the feelings be there without resistance. The body will process the feeling and let it go. Get curious—when you are interested in what is happening, it is difficult to be afraid. Being with what is honors life and lets you live in the natural state without resistance, which is love/peace/calm. When you are nervous or afraid try coming from a place of love. Can you fall in love with the Universe and fill up with its love? This will heal you and the world more than you know.
Resolve Family trauma. What goes unresolved with us and our ancestors impacts us and our children who will try to resolve the unresolved by acting it out again. Family Constellation work can help us heal the energetic of the family (see Family Constellation).
Be more transparent. Assume that when someone is angry, there is an unmet need.,Attempt to get to the bottom of the issue by asking them what need is unmet that makes them angry. When you are angry, assume the same. Become more transparent by getting to the needs below the anger; communicate the needs and conflict will decrease. Read or listen to Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication.
Do some research. If you want more understanding how synchronicity, flow may occur or some evidence that there is a “field,” read some articles or books on quantum physics and chaos theory. Examine how these theories apply to the idea that we are all connected and have access to a larger world than just the one we see. When we are in the flow, we have the ability to access the “field” (read The Source Field Investigations, by David Wilcock). Be open to possibilities. The more you are in your whole brain, the easier your life will be, the more miracles you will witness. Eventually “miracles” will be just the way the world works.
Eat well and thank your food. Natural foods are more nurturing & healthy than sweet, processed foods. Nature knows how to nurture us. Start eating vegetables and grains. Stop eating sugar & wheat. Wheat and sugar cause difficulties in many people such as depression, confusion, foggy thinking, gut problems, irritability, inability to sleep, lack of energy. Sugar weakens the immune system and dulls the senses. Thank the plants you eat—plants have an energy that works with us. Connect with them—they are alive and conscious (read The Secret Life of Plants and Secrets of the Soil) and will work with you when you appreciate the life they give you.
* Exercise to be in the whole brain: Sit or stand in a comfortable position. Take a few breaths. Notice what is happening in your body. Be with the sensations–are there pains? Where are your feet? How do your hands feel? How does your heart feel? How does your stomach feel? Go back to your breath. Imagine you are breathing through your heart. Now open your awareness to include the world around you. What do you hear? What do you see? What do you smell? Look out to the distance. Continue this awareness as you move around. Try to be aware of both what is happening inside and outside you at the same time.