Many of us were raised to resist our feelings (don’t be angry, don’t cry, don’t be so wild, etc). We do most anything to not feel: we eat, do drugs, drink, exercise, work, text, play computer games, and in doing all of this doing, we fight reality. When we resist feeling, we block reality, and this leads to a pattern of fighting that distances us from a sense of peace and contentment and ability to be present in the here and now. We live according to the belief that I have to resist or fight in order get what I…

This article discusses effective and ineffective ways of gaining personal power and how that search impacts those around us. Note: I suggest you read “The Victim Tyrant Cycle” as it includes important concepts used in this article (http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/negotiating-the-victim-tyrant-cycle). Children who had “secure attachment” naturally gain personal power—their needs were met as a child (they felt loved and secure), so as adults, they don’t worry about how to gain safety in the world. They feel comfortable about themselves; they are calm and centered. They are confident but not arrogant. Arrogance involves the ego and is a sign of insecurity—one is fighting…

I have been doing Family Constellation Work for over ten years, and when I started, I had been doing Energy Psychology work (specifically CLEAR) for over five years. Energy Psychology removes trauma and blocks by stimulating Delta waves (as in deep sleep), which discard emotions and dissolve the neural pathway associated with the negative experience; tapping (a form of energy psychology) sends electromagnetic signals to the amygdala that eases negatives charges. So when I saw people showing signs of trauma in constellations, it came naturally for me to have them use clearing techniques of energy psychology as the constellation progressed….

When you expect to get the love you didn’t get as a child from your partner, you are stuck in the pattern of hope and struggle that you cannot win. This is a pattern that is created in childhood that seeps into our relationships (as most patterns do). The pattern comes about because the love we experienced from our parents was conditional, not consistent or nonexistent. Usually we think we are to blame for not getting the love we need. We do lots of things to try to get this love (achieve, be kind, do for others, give up our…

Many of us have limiting beliefs that impact our relationship with money. During these difficult times when we are tightening our belts, it would be helpful to rid ourselves of any negative beliefs that impact our ability to manifest money. These beliefs originate from our interactions, cultural traditions and experiences with money, and then influence how we attract money (or not). If I believe something, even at a subconscious level, that belief impacts my ability to manifest that thing in my life. For example, if I experienced as a child that money was difficult to come by and we never had enough, then at some level, I…

Published by SelfGrowth.com I recently turned 55 and at my birthday celebration, a friend told me that I had changed more than anyone he knew. When I told this to another friend (with whom I have recently reconnected after 30 years) he said yes, that was true for him too, “you aren’t the same person in so many ways, and yet you haven’t changed at all in ways that are so fundamental to your nature.” What a great thing to hear after all these years—that my work on myself has paid off! I was an unhappy child and a depressed adult (off and on antidepressants…

Printed in “Progressive Health” Winter, 2004 I have been working in the field of change for the last 20 years. First, I worked with organizations and individuals in organizations to help them create positive change. Then in the last seven years I have worked with private clients utilizing integrated energy therapies, or CLEAR* When I first started using the energy therapies, I thought that I would no longer need the behavioral techniques that I had used for so long. The energy therapies seemed to be so thorough and powerful that people made changes naturally without much effort. The clearing of…

I began my exploration into the energy therapies after over 20 years of working on myself through therapy and personal growth workshops. I work in the field of personal and organizational change and conduct personal growth and leadership workshops for others. Until I found the acupressure point energy therapies, the change process seemed long and difficult for myself and for others. My personal experience with energy therapies indicated that the change process needn’t be so cumbersome and difficult. I was so amazed with my own progress as a result of utilizing the energy therapies that I decided to learn them…

The world is filled with people who are unhappy and even angry because they can’t get the love that they want. Most of us think that we need to do something different or be with someone different in order to get what we think we need—love from someone else. We have to be better, do more, achieve more, or look different to get what we want. Because much of the love we experience is conditional, and because of our societal norms which say that we need to buy or earn love, and the most powerful love is when we are…

Generally, society works against us discovering and being ourselves. We are taught to be what society and our parents want us to be. There is little faith in the brilliance and miracle of who we are. Instead, there is typically a fear that we are not enough and we have to push to be the best we can be to get what we want. We have to make ourselves into what we are supposed to be, and that is (we are told) not an easy road. There is little belief that a child is sufficient and just needs to be…